


With You (Hold Me)

by The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight



Series: Celestial Songs [15]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: AkuSai Month 2020 (Kingdom Hearts), Angst, Celestial Songs, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, LeaIsa Month 2020 (Kingdom Hearts), Love Confessions, M/M, Musical Prompt Playlist, Post-Canon, Sappy, Songfic, Songs of the Sun and Moon, post kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight/pseuds/The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight
Summary: Isa collapses onto his bed after a long day of shopping. With Demyx. At least once a week, the mullet-head practically forces Isa and Ienzo out into Radiant Garden for fresh air. It’s torture. Exhausting. But Isa knows that Demyx means well. And, frankly, there is always something Isa comes across that he ends up purchasing. For instance, today he stumbled upon a wooden carving of some constellation. He’s not exactly sure which, he just knows that the shape of it somehow reminded him of Lea. Huh.It’s closing in on almost five months now since he’s departed. Five months that he’s been gone. Hmm. Isa sits up and fishes the carving out of the small bag. He traces the shape of it. Follows it star-to-star with his fingertips. He wonders if he could ask Ienzo where Lea might be. If he could maybe—Tch. No. That would be ridiculous. Lea left due to official Guardian duties. Isa can’t just…drop in on him and intervene because he misses him. It doesn’t work like that. He just has to be patient and—
Relationships: Isa & Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Celestial Songs [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820650
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	With You (Hold Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Song Used: "You Are the Reason" by Calum Scott feat. Leona Lewis
> 
> August 7th, Day 32 of LeaIsa/AkuSai Month

_There goes my heart beating_

_And you are the reason_

_I’m losing my sleep_

_Please come back now…_

Isa awakens from a dead slumber at the sound of his phone going off. He turns in his bed and reaches for the side table, grabbing at the phone. The screen is lit up and it causes his heart to race. He opens the message to see the image of a sunset from an unknown world. He smiles sheepishly at the sight. There’s no caption until the second picture comes along. A shot of Lea with the sunset as his background. _Wish you could be here with me_. Isa blushes at this before gazing upon the picture once more. The pink and orange hues clash with Lea’s hair yet complement it at the same time.

He lay back, still holding onto his phone. Still looking at the picture. Lea has been gone for nearly two months now. The longest two months of his life. Of course, Isa understands why Lea’s departure had been necessary; he just wishes he didn’t have to be gone for so long. Messages and pictures on a phone aren’t enough. They don’t diminish the distance. They don’t make up for the absence. They just make Isa miss Lea even more. He already misses him more than he probably should. After seeing him every single day for over a decade, though—despite the circumstance—and then not seeing him at all… Hmm.

It hasn’t been an easy adjustment. Not seeing him. Then on top of that he’s had to adjust to a normal life again, too. When he first returned, Isa thought he’d have Lea to help him with that adjustment. And he did…for about a month. That hadn’t been nearly enough time. But Guardian duties called, and Lea had to go. For an undisclosed amount of time. So, Isa had to be on his own from there.

He focuses on the picture once more. He could send one back to Lea if he really wanted to. Send him one of the night sky. Or maybe he’ll wait and send one of sunrise. If he does that, though, he’ll have to stay up. Otherwise, he’ll never wake up in time. So, he slips out of bed and moves the chair from his desk beside the window. Then he sits and waits. For the dawn. A new day.

For now, he’ll admire the stars. And the sunset wherever Lea is at. Better yet, he’ll admire the redhead. Hmm. Isa smiles softly at the image on his screen. He swears he can still see the freckles in those green eyes. The freckles in his smile. He just wishes he could admire them in person. That he could reach out and—

Isa tilts his head. He’s so glad the upside-down teardrops are gone. He’s glad that Lea is such a crybaby. That he’s far from fearful of expressing himself. Tch. Isa wishes he could be the same. That he could confront Lea in such a way as that. Without being afraid. Of any of his emotions. He wishes he could message back to Lea that he desires to be there, too. Or that he desires Lea to come back. To be home. But he could never get away with saying such a thing.

He takes a deep breath. The stars in the sky are beginning to fade. The sky is turning from navy to dusky blue to a pastel blue. Isa reluctantly closes the image of Lea and opens his own phone’s camera. He waits a little while longer until the sun starts peaking out over the horizon. Until it washes the sky with shades of yellows and oranges. That’s when he snaps his picture. Lea will lecture him about being up, but that’s okay. It’ll be worth it if it means having even just a short conversation with the redhead. A quick seven-word exchange is better than nothing at all.

Of course, the best will be when Lea is standing right in front of him. When these sunsets and sunrises don’t have to just be on a phone screen. He’s willing to wait, though. Because the longer he waits, the better that day will be when it finally does arrive. When Lea finally arrives. When he’s finally back.

_There goes my mind racing_

_And you are the reason_

_That I’m still breathing_

_I’m hopeless now…_

Another day. Another world. Lea’s only been gone for two months and he feels like he’s seen more worlds in this short time span than he ever did during his ten years with the Organisation. Not that he’s necessarily interested in seeing all these new worlds anymore. He’d much rather be back home in Twilight Town or Radiant Garden. With the kids and with—

Come sunset, he finds himself outside, admiring it. No matter what world he’s in, he can’t stay away from the sunset. He pulls out his phone and snaps a photo of the sky. He brings up Isa’s contact and sends him the picture before returning to his camera and snapping a picture with himself in the shot. He opens his messages to Isa again and adds the picture to it. He hesitates for a moment before typing out: _Wish you could be here with me_. Another moment of hesitation before he hits send. He’s not sure how Isa will respond to that sort of comment or if he’ll respond at all, but Lea isn’t ashamed of expressing himself. He isn’t ashamed of how he feels.

He misses Isa. Only having a month to reconnect with him before having to leave wasn’t enough. And telling Isa he had to leave wasn’t easy. Of course, Isa acted like it would be all right. Lea _knows_ Isa will be all right. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit for. But that didn’t make leaving any easier for Lea.

He swallows hard before focusing back on the sunset. The light has just about faded from the sky now. He tilts his head a bit, lost in thought. He wonders if Isa is sleeping or not. Wonders if he’s seen the message yet. If he has, he hasn’t responded. That’s okay, though. It should be the middle of the night in Radiant Garden. So, Isa really should be sleeping. Hmm. Maybe Lea will turn in early, too.

He checks his phone once more before heading inside. He is tired. It’s been a long day. A long few weeks. So, he crawls into bed, setting his phone down on the side table. He lay on his side and stares at it for a while, waiting to see if it’ll go off. Light up. When it never does, he closes his eyes. He falls asleep to visions of blue…

He awakens to the same. The window is open, and wind is blowing the shade, allowing Lea to see the bright blue sky. The sun has long since risen and he’s almost afraid to check the time. Afraid to see that he’s wasted half a day. When he does check his time, he forgets all about the time when he sees the notification. He opens his messages to see Isa’s name at the top of his list. Lea almost can’t believe that he responded. Hell, he’s nervous to even read the message. Instead, he spends a good fifteen minutes just staring at his phone and considering all the possible responses Isa could’ve sent.

Soon enough, he takes a deep breath. He clicks Isa’s name and opens the message chain. A smile pops onto Lea’s face almost instantaneously. It’s a picture. Isa sent back a picture of the sunrise in Radiant Garden. Then sent a second picture mimicking Lea’s with taking a shot of himself with the sunrise as his background. It’s so good to see Isa, even in just an image like this. The picture alone is causing him to blush. Damn it, he misses him even more now than he had before. He wishes he could be there with Isa now. Wishes that he could watch the sunrise with him. Watch the sunset with him. He wishes—

He can’t go back just yet. There’s still a lot he has to do. Once he does get home, though, he’ll never leave again. Not without Isa, at least. And if Isa doesn’t want to go anywhere, then Lea will stay, too. Especially if it means getting to see Isa in person. To be with him. Because the last ten years weren’t enough. Weren’t good. Lea needs the next ten to be so much better.

_I’d climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I’ve broken_

_Oh, cuz I need you to see_

_That you are the reason…_

Isa collapses onto his bed after a long day of shopping. With Demyx. At least once a week, the mullet-head practically forces Isa and Ienzo out into Radiant Garden for _fresh air_. It’s torture. Exhausting. But Isa knows that Demyx means well. And, frankly, there is always something Isa comes across that he ends up purchasing. For instance, today he stumbled upon a wooden carving of some constellation. He’s not exactly sure which, he just knows that the shape of it somehow reminded him of Lea. Huh.

It’s closing in on almost five months now since he’s departed. Five months that he’s been gone. Hmm. Isa sits up and fishes the carving out of the small bag. He traces the shape of it. Follows it star-to-star with his fingertips. He wonders if he could ask Ienzo where Lea might be. If he could maybe—Tch. No. That would be ridiculous. Lea left due to official Guardian duties. Isa can’t just…drop in on him and intervene because he _misses_ him. It doesn’t work like that. He just has to be patient and—

There’s a knock on his bedroom door. He rolls his eyes as he sets the carving down. Ugh. This better not be Demyx. Hell, he just spent an entire day with him. What more could he possibly—?

Hs eyes widen as soon as he opens the door. “Lea…”

The redhead is standing on the other side. He grins at the sight of Isa, who has suddenly forgotten how to breathe. His heart is just about ready to jump out of his chest, though. He reaches for Lea. Places his hands on his shoulders before pulling him into him and wrapping his arms the rest of the way around him. Once he feels Lea’s solid form against him, he smiles and buries his face in the crook of his neck. At this, he feels Lea’s arms slip around his waist to return the embrace. The breath catches in Isa’s throat as he squeezes his eyes shut. This is real. Lea is actually here. And now that he is, Isa never wants to let him go. When the other starts to pull away, though, Isa knows he has to let him. And so, he does. Reluctantly.

“Welcome back,” Isa greets him.

Lea is still smiling. “It’s good to be back. And it’s so good to see you.”

Isa fights off a blush. “You, too.”

They spend a moment still holding onto each other. Isa’s hands are still resting on Lea’s shoulders. Lea’s hands are still placed upon Isa’s hips. And they’re looking at each other. Gazing directly into each other’s eyes. Isa counts the freckles in them like he used to when they were kids.

Lea clears his throat, stepping away. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on,” he says. “Let’s start with how you’ve been.”

It’s a simple enough request, but Isa doesn’t know where to begin. Does he start with the Restoration Committee? Does he start with Demyx and Ienzo? Or maybe he should start with the kids. Hmm… He lowers his arms a soon as he realises they’re still hovering in midair at the spot where Lea’s shoulders had been. Damn it. This shouldn’t be so difficult. Ugh. Why does Isa have to complicate everything?

He shakes his head. “I’ve been…well.” Tch. _Yeah, that wasn’t convincing_. “How have your travels been?”

“Good. They’ve been good.”

Now he nods. “That’s good.” He pauses. “How long are you back for?” He doesn’t really want the answer, but he knows he needs to ask. It’s better than not knowing at all. “Just a couple days or—?”

“Indefinitely.”

He perks up a bit at this. “Oh? What exactly does that mean?”

“It means,” Lea throws an arm around Isa’s shoulders, “we get to spend some more time together.”

He scoffs, although, there’s no real heat behind it. “What makes you think I want to spend any time with you?”

“Well, that greeting there was one giveaway.” At this, Isa jokingly shoves Lea away from him, causing the redhead to laugh in response. “See? You know I’m right.”

“You wish,” Isa says.

He’s still grinning as he steps into Isa’s room, granting himself entrance. “Yeah, yeah, c’mon.” He falls on the bed and pats the empty spot next to him. “Let’s chat.”

He shakes his head at him, chuckling under his breath. He follows him, though, and takes the spot on the bed beside him. Lea sits up and they sit face-to-face. Lea starts with talks of his journey. All the worlds he’s been to since he’s left. All that he still has to do that’s been temporarily put on hold. Not that he’s complaining. And neither is Isa, in that case. He’s glad to have Lea back. To have him sitting across from him like this… It’s better than he ever could’ve imagined. He could listen to him talk for hours, too. He’s not even sure what Lea is saying half the time; he’s just content listening to the sound of his voice. It’s soothing. It’s—

This is exactly what Isa has needed. Exactly what he’s been missing. Having Lea here… It’ll turn his entire world right-side up again.

_There go my hands shaking_

_And you are the reason_

_My heart keeps bleeding_

_I need you now, oh…_

Isa sits bolt upright, gasping for breath. He’s heating up. Sweating. Trembling. He throws the covers off himself and searches around for a cool spot on the bed. When he can’t find one, he squeezes his eyes shut, but they instantly shoot back open. All he can envision is the final moment of that nightmare.

His bedroom door swings open and Lea is standing on the other side. Even through the dark, Isa can still see the panicked look on his face. The concern in his eyes. He lets himself into the room and takes a seat on the edge of Isa’s bed.

“Are you okay?” he checks. “I heard you screaming.”

Isa nods. “Night terrors.”

He brushes a strand of hair behind Isa’s ear. “Talk to me about it.”

“I’d rather not.”

He lets out a soft sigh. “It might help you feel better.”

He chuckles sheepishly. “It won’t.”

Demyx is then at the open door. “Hey, is everything all right?”

“Yes, everything is fine,” Isa says. He can feel his cheeks burning up for an entirely new reason now. He’s still not used people caring about him. He’s not used to anyone being concerned for his wellbeing. “Go back to bed.”

“Yeah, I got this,” Lea goes on.

Demyx nods his head once, his grin shining through the darkness. “Oh yeah, he’s in good hands with you.” And he takes his leave.

Lea gets to his feet and moves toward the door, closing it. He then returns to the bed and takes Isa’s hands in his own once he’s sitting again. “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”

Isa’s gaze is stuck on their hands. He’s not sur what’s happening right now. Not sure why Lea is touching him when he has no real reason to. No need to. But… Lea is _warm_. And in a whole different way than how Isa had been overheating. He’s warm in a comforting way. In way that makes Isa not want Lea to let go. Instead, he’d rather crawl into Lea’s form and bask in his warmth. And something tells him that Lea would be perfectly okay with that. He still won’t do it, though. Tch. That’d be insane.

“Hey,” Leak speaks up, his voice soft. Isa lifts his gaze to meet the other’s deep green one. “You seem to have calmed down.” Of course he has. Lea brings a sense of serenity with him. Especially for Isa. It’s always been this way. Even when they were kids. “Would you like me to stay?”

Isa swallows hard. _Yes_. “You don’t have to.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

He’s a bit taken aback by this comment. As much as he wants to, though, he can’t ask Lea to stay. That’s asking too much of him. It wouldn’t be fair. But now Isa isn’t sure what to say. He doesn’t know how to respond. All he knows is the look Lea is giving him. That intensity in his eyes is drawing Isa in. They’re already closer than they should be, yet Isa still wants to be closer.

He’s shaking all over again.

_If I could turn back the clock_

_I’d make sure the light defeated the dark_

_I’d spend every hour of every day, oh_

_Keeping you safe, oh…_

Lea can feel Isa’s hands shaking within his own. Except he doesn’t think it’s in regards to the nightmare anymore. He’s trying not to smile. He knows this is serious. The expression on Isa’s face says it all. Even in the dark. _Damn it_. All he wants is to pull Isa into him arms. He wants to hold him. Comfort him. He doesn’t want to freak him out, though. To scare him off.

“Tell me about the nightmare,” Lea says again. “Please.”

Isa shakes his head. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because I wanna know what’s going through your head. I haven’t had the chance to be around, so I need to get an idea of how you’re doing.”

“Hmm.” He takes a deep breath. “It’s always the same,” he then starts. “Well, it’s always about you getting hurt, at least. The means of how you’re injured varies.” Isa’s gaze has fallen back to their clasped hands. Lea waits patiently for him to continue, not wanting to interrupt him or make him feel rushed. “Sometimes… _I’m_ the one hurting you,” he goes on. “We’re battling and I knock you down before striking the final blow.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Other times, Xemnas is the one hurting you. And I’m standing off to the side in my Berserk state, unable to do anything. Unable to stop him. Like when he hurt you during our battle in the graveyard.”

Lea tilts his head. “You—You were aware of what was happening?”

“For the most part.” He takes another deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever move past how much of a _monster_ I had been.”

Now he’s shaking his head. “No.” He wraps an arm around Isa’s shoulders, pulling him just a bit closer. “ _You_ weren’t the monster. Isa was never a monster. Saïx was.” He winces slightly at the name and Lea instantly regrets saying it. “I’m sorry. I just—I need to know that you can see the difference. That you can separate yourself from him.”

“It doesn’t matter… No matter what, we’ll always share the same face.” He turns his head away. “The same scars.”

Lea can feel the burning prickle behind his eyes. He squeezes them shut, trying to shake off the urge. “It does matter.” Of course it matters. Lea dropped the ball so many times in the past when it did matter. As Axel, he had pushed Saïx away. That was the last thing he ever should’ve done. “You’re not the same as him. You’re not him.” Maybe if _Axel_ had stuck by Saïx’s side, things could’ve been different. Maybe Saïx never would’ve fallen as far as he had. Maybe— “Isa is so much better.” Maybe this isn’t what Lea should really be concerning himself with. The past is in the past. He couldn’t protect Saïx then, so he’ll protect Isa now. “It was just a dream. I’m here and I’m safe. You didn’t hurt me.”

Isa scoffs at this. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Stop.” Lea cups Isa’s cheek, turning his head towards him, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You didn’t hurt me. And I’ve forgiven you.”

He can hear the breath catch in Isa’s throat. “Why?”

“Because I—” He stops short. Tch. If only he could tell him the truth. Be blatantly honest with him. Lea isn’t sure Isa is quite ready for that, though. “Because you—You’re my best friend,” he says instead. “And nothing will ever change that. Nothing will ever be able to come between us.”

Isa doesn’t say anything back. He just leans into Lea and rests his head on his shoulder. Now Lea can’t help but smile, silent tears streaming down his cheeks at the same time. Yeah. Isa is definitely completely different from—Well, he doesn’t need to use that name again. Doesn’t want to use it ever again.

Hell, how he’s the one shaking.

_I’d climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I’ve broken_

_Oh, cuz I need you to see_

_That you are the reason…_

Lea spends the next few days in Twilight Town. He visits with Roxas, Xion, and Naminé. Catches up with them. It’s good to see them happy. Settling into normal lives. Relatively normal, at least. He’s not sure any of them will ever be able to lead completely normal lives. He’s okay with that, though. Lea doesn’t want normal. So long as he’s happy and surrounded by good company. Good friends.

When he returns to Radiant Garden, he seeks out Isa right away. After being gone for five months, any time spent away from him now is too much time. He tried convincing him to visit Twilight Town with him, too, but Isa just wouldn’t go for it. Lea can’t necessarily blame him. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish that Isa and the kids would get over their animosity towards each other.

He finally tracks Isa down in the Study. “There you are,” he greets him with a smile. He pulls a chair up and sits across from him. “Hiding away in here?”

“I’m not hiding,” Isa says, keeping his eyes on the book in his hands. “It’s the single place Demyx won’t come and I enjoy the quiet.”

“Pretty sure that’s the same as hiding.”

“Semantics.”

He chuckles. “Let’s go into town.” He gets back to his feet. “Grab a bite to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He freezes mid-step before turning on his heel back to Isa. “Uhm…okay. Let’s at least go out and get some fresh air.”

Isa flips the page. “I’m fine.”

Lea is at a loss for words. He sits back down. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I dunno…” He shrugs his shoulders. “You just seem a bit off.”

“How would you know? You haven’t even been here.”

Now he lets out an incredulous little laugh. “Where the hell is this coming from?”

“I’m not blaming you or saying I’m mad or anything. I know you left for good reasons and that it couldn’t be avoided, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you were gone for five months. So how should you know what’s normal for me and what isn’t?”

“Because I’ve known you literally my entire life. So, it doesn’t matter how long I’ve been gone for.”

“It does matter.” He closes the book and sets it down. “It matters a lot.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“You are.” He nods. “And I’m glad you are.”

Lea is getting whiplash from Isa’s back and forth. “I’m glad, too.” Despite his bafflement, he doesn’t want to question it. Just like he doesn’t question or second guess himself with making this request: “Next time I have to leave, Isa, I’d like you to come with me.”

He swears he can see a tint of colour in Isa’s cheeks as he turns his head down. “I’m not a Keyblade wielder or a Guardian,” he says. “What use would I be?”

“You’re clever and good with recon. You’d be far more useful than you may think. Plus, you’d be the best company.”

Okay. Now he’s definitely blushing. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind accompanying you on your next journey. Would that really be okay, though?”

“Of course. Besides,” he reaches across the table, taking Isa’s hands in his own, “I don’t want to have to leave you behind again. It was not easy for me to do that the first time. I think a second time would be near impossible. Then again…” He pauses, thinking. Ugh. He should just stop talking now. Before he says something that he shouldn’t. Before he says too much.

“What?” Isa asks.

Lea swallows hard. “Each day I was away from you, I had something to make the days pass by faster because I had something to look forward to.” He’s almost positive he’s the one blushing now. “The thought of seeing you again kept me going. It gave me a reason to finish my task as efficiently as I could.”

The look on Isa’s face is unreadable. “I knew you were a crybaby.” He then smiles softly. “I didn’t realise you were also a sap.”

He can’t help but laugh at this. “Only for you.”

It’s the truth. Lea would pour his heart out for Isa if he could. That would be a lot to take in all at once, though. And he doesn’t want to overwhelm Isa. He doesn’t want to burden him. It’s too soon for that. Too soon for those kinds of emotions. Hell, Lea’s not even sure he’s entirely ready to face his heart that way. He’ll be ready as soon as Isa is, too, though. And on that day, Lea will make sure Isa knows just how much he cares for him. Just what he’d do for him. Just how far he’d go. Because he would go to the ends of the earth for him. He’d fall over the edge for him. And he knows it would be worth it.

_I don’t wanna fight no more_

_I don’t wanna hide no more_

_(You are the reason)_

_I don’t wanna cry no more_

_Come back, I need you to hold me_

_(That you are the reason)_

_A little closer now_

_Just a little closer now_

_Come a little closer_

_I need you to hold me tonight…_

When Isa opens his eyes, he lets out a shaky breath. This was one of those rare occasions where he had been able to wake up from his nightmare before it got to be too bad. He still won’t be able to fall back asleep, though. He sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. He then removes the covers and brings his legs around, placing his feet on the solid floor. His knees feel a little weak, but that doesn’t stop him from getting up. A short walk may tire him out a bit.

He makes his way around the castle. He walks a path to the Study before looping around back to his bedroom. On his way back, he passes by the Lab. He slows his pace when he hears voices drifting down the hallway. He detours towards the entrance, recognising one of the voices as Riku’s. Then he hears Even’s. What are they still doing up? And what are they talking about? What are they—?

Lea’s voice rings through clear as day. Clear as the stars. Oh. _Oh_. He’s… He has to leave again. Already. No. That doesn’t make any sense. He wouldn’t leave without telling Isa. He wouldn’t leave without saying anything. Without saying goodbye. This has to be a mistake. Another bad dream. Yeah. He’s still sleeping. He’s—

Lea steps out of the Lab, freezing when he spots Isa. “What are you doing up?” he asks. “How much did you hear?”

That’s all he needs to say for Isa to know that he had been planning on leaving. He turns and books it in the other direction. His mind is racing. His heart pounding. This can’t be happening. It’s just some bad dream. That’s what he’ll keep telling himself until he wakes up. _This isn’t real_. Except Lea is calling after him. Calling out his name. And the sensation from hearing it sounds all too real.

“ _Isa_ ,” he says. “Hold on—”

Lea finally catches up to him, grabbing at his hand. Isa yanks it away, but Lea is quick to take hold of his shoulders next. He tugs at them, pulling Isa into him. He doesn’t want to comply, but _damn it_ , his touch is so comforting. And Isa’s face is wet and he’s not exactly sure why so burying his face in the crook of Lea’s neck seems like the best option. The only option. Especially when it means having Lea’s arms wrapped around him.

“I’m not sure what you heard—” Lea starts.

“You’re leaving again,” Isa says. “You said you wouldn’t. And I don’t want you to go.” He chokes back a sob. “Please. I need you here with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lea says. “And I already told you that I wouldn’t leave again without you.” He strokes Isa’s hair. “I meant that.”

Isa pulls back, meeting Lea’s burning gaze. He knows he meant it. That he means it. Just like he knows—He knows… He knows the freckles in his eyes. The constellations. It’s so easy to get lost in them, yet it’s how Isa always finds himself again.

Lea is still stroking his hair. Isa’s hands are on his forearms, practically squeezing them. He’s so terrified of letting go. He’s afraid that Lea will slip away if he does. That he’ll lose him forever. He knows that’s a crazy notion. He’ll always have Lea. He’ll always want to have him. He’ll always want…

Without giving it a second thought, Isa closes the distance between the two of them. He closes the distance between his lips and Lea’s. He kisses him, sliding his hands up his arms and around his neck. Lea smiles into the kiss as pulls Isa even closer to him. Tighter against him. Isa is still crying; he can taste the salt on their lips. Lea doesn’t seem to mind. And if he doesn’t mind, then Isa doesn’t mind.

He’s not sure how long they spend kissing. It feels like an eternity—he wouldn’t care if it had been—but he’s sure it had barely been a minute. Lea is the one to break the kiss. He brings his hands up to Isa’s cheeks, wiping away the tears. He’s smiling and Isa can’t help returning it. Their foreheads connect before they find themselves kissing again. Isa isn’t complaining. He’s no good when it comes to talking anyhow. Especially articulating his feelings. Not that he’s any better at expressing himself, but if this is how he can do it, then he’s fine with that. He’s more than content with kissing Lea. Holding him and being held by him. Basking in his warmth. Then again—

“What does this mean?” Isa asks, pulling away.

“It’s not obvious?” Lea says.

“Please…”

He smiles once more. “I’m in love with you, Isa. I always have been.”

“Always?”

“Ever since we were kids, and I never stopped.”

“What about—?”

“I never stopped.”

He swallows hard. “Say it again.”

“I’m in love with you.”

They’re kissing again. _I love you. I’m in love with you._ Lea says it over and over between kisses. Against Isa’s lips. Until he’s no longer crying. Until they can barely breathe. And then he continues saying it, causing Isa’s heart to swell. It’s about to burst out of his chest. And it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

This is exactly what he wants. To be loved by Lea. And to be in love with him. This is all he’s ever wanted.

_I’d climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I’ve broken_

_Cuz I need you to see_

_That you are the reason_

“Tell me you love me, too,” Lea says as soon as he can breathe again. “Tell me…”

“Of course I do,” Isa says. “I’m in love with you.” He brings their foreheads together. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I would’ve been lost to the darkness long ago.”

“I’ll never let you fall that far ever again. I shouldn’t have let you in the first place.”

He shakes his head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Tch. Too bad that’s not how Lea sees it. It’s not how he feels on the matter. Who is he to argue, though? He doesn’t want to argue. He’s so sick of fighting. Kissing, on the other hand… That he could get used to. He wants to get used to it. So, he kisses Isa again. His arms are still wrapped around him; he can’t let go. He refuses. If he does, Isa might step away from him. He might walk away. Run away. He might slip away and be lost forever. Lea won’t let happen. Not again.

“What now?” Isa goes on.

“We’ll take it day-by-day,” Lea says. “No need to rush things or think too far ahead.”

He pulls far enough away to look into Isa’s eyes. Teal. A beautiful colour. His favourite colour. He then reaches up with one hand and gently traces the shape of the scar with his fingertips. Isa closes his eyes at the touch.

“I’m gonna make it up to you,” Lea speaks up.

“I’m the one who should be saying that.”

“We both made mistakes.”

“Then we both have things to make up for.”

He nods his head once. “We’ll carry the weight together. We’ll grow together.”

He smiles. “That sounds fair.”

It is fair. Love should be fair. So, Lea will prove to Isa just how much they both deserve this. How they’ve earned it. A second chance at this existence. A chance to be in love. To be happy. And thanks to each other, they will be.


End file.
